The KGB Dominates The Warren Big Brew

☭ The Moscow Mule ☭
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Monday April 29, 2019

Greeting Citizens. News from the Warren Big Brews!

The KGB - the homebrew club for the peoples - had great success, and were admired by all. Members shared 306 different homebrews, far superior than all the rest of the brew clubs and commercial breweries combined. Before successful drinking festivities, comrades also dominated the on-site brewing of beers. Aromas of citizens favorite Putin Porter could be smelled for miles around the Halmiches Park. Historical Gorbachev Gose and Stalin's Stout were also brewed. 

The KGB were victorious in the Corn Holes Tournaments, and won gold medals for traditional folk dances, egg toss, potato sack race, and stein lifting competition using mugs made with exquisite Russian crystal, far heavier than puny German drinking vessels. Such funs was had, that comrade Nathaniel Warnichekov wents to sleeps behind the Port of Johns. 


Mead Czar Faustus Federfunkov
Mead Czar Faustus Federfunkov served his spicy ginger honey wines he made from honey he stole from a honey badger. He also wore traditional Siberian fur hat made from the same honey badger. And comrade Mikhail Smylie shocked all when he broughts with him a non-sour beer! But by the ends of days, much to Mikhail's relief, it had soured very nicely.


Champ Roxie
Comrade Nikolas brought great honors to the KGB when Roxie wons the Warren Big Brews dog skills contest. The course was very much more challenging than inferior Westminster Dog Show. Roxie's flashy moves wowed the crowd, weaving through obstacles like Pavel Datsyuk. 


The only low spot was the absence of club president Mr. Dukes and his son, who were busy working and were in no ways involved in top secret spy mission of great importance. 😉

Vladimir Putin received word of the KGB's dominace before his hockey game on Sunday. Overjoyed by great success, and much to the crowds delights, he celebrated by doing 80's dance moves during his pregame warm up. His team was victorious and won the Kremlin Cup, which is far more coveted than crummy NHL cup made of cheap Canadian silver. No surprise, team captain Putin also wons the MVP award. 


Putin Doing "The Robot" during his pregame warm up - Putin with the Kremlin Cup

The crowd went wild when The Bangles came on
and Putin Skated like an Egyptian

Starting line up for the 2019 Kremlin Cup Championship Team
























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